you finaly reach the middle of a century, happy birthday.
for as long as i remember, i never really look at you as the person who i adore. i always look up to someone else instead, ended up hating you that much. i can tell that i never wanted you to be my parent but, destiny said different.
i told a story here about you, about how mad i am, and about how guarded you are to the possibilities of being wrong, and i hate it, i hate you.
as time’s flies, i don’t know when it starts, i just realize that i let go of the something i buried for a long time, i finally unhate you.
i finally carry out the weight on my shoulder, i at last can say that no longer save some place for hate in my life, i just dislike things, and that’s it, go along with it, grow side by side.
im alive, in spite of things i create towards you, selfishly, when i let it go, i make myself a lot comfortable to live my life, i take my part.
probably someone out there also dealing the same problems, parent. but i deadass tell you to realize these things,
- they born in the past
- they are not you, and can’t be measure based on the nowadays knowledge
- they can learn, but still it takes time, they’ve been built into the form present of who they are for a long time ago, even before planning to get married and have you
- they are human, they have flaws, and capabilities.
i know you’ve done a lot, after the fog of hate been erased, i finally can see the whole picture, i’ve seen you struggling so hard, sacrifice for the family, i love you right now, and deep inside, i know you have something i crave for even before i ask for it
i know you proud of me
and thank you, stay alive until i can pay you back every penny.